Riders on the Wind by David Campbell

Author:David Campbell
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780987352798
Publisher: BookPOD
Published: 2013-04-05T00:00:00+00:00

That Night at the B & S Ball

At the back of beyond where the people are fond

of a dance in the local shire hall,

they still talk of that night when they got such a fright

at the annual B & S Ball.

From the stories they tell it all started so well,

with the bunting and streamers on high;

they were young, they were keen, and they couldn’t have seen

how the party would soon go awry.

They were dressed to the nines, had some mighty fine wines,

and a number of kegs full of beer;

there was plenty to eat and a band with a beat,

so they laughed and they danced, full of cheer.

Then a bunch of the boys made a hell of a noise

with their utes, to see whose was the best,

but Mad Mick lost control when he hit a great hole

and demolished a jumper ants’ nest.

Now those ants went berserk and they all got to work

on the nearest warm bodies they found;

they invaded the hall, and although very small,

the effect that they had was profound.

When there’s ants in your pants it’s a crazy old dance

that you do to get rid of the pain,

for it’s real rock ‘n’ roll, and there’s only one goal…

to ensure you’re not bitten again!

But when something that bites is let loose in your tights

then mere leaping and dancing won’t do.

You can wriggle and slap, but they’ll still find a gap,

and a fresh bit of skin they can chew.

You go out of your mind when you can’t seem to find

where those little black devils have gone;

you don’t care who might scoff, you start stripping things off…

they can hide where the sun never shone!

It became quite a sight on that infamous night,

for a riotous orgy ensued

as the youth of our town tore off jacket and gown,

and went racing around in the nude!

They cavorted and leapt while the band vainly kept

on attempting to play right along,

but it kills off romance when the parts that can dance

pirouette to the jumper ants’ song!

So to go with the sting there was plenty of swing,

although not of the musical kind,

and the flesh on display was a cause of dismay

that left many a friendship behind.

Now it’s tough when you meet someone else in the street…

there are things you can’t help but recall.

No-one knows where to look, with what jiggled and shook

on that night at the B & S Ball!

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